Hello Ladies
by Smallbell
Summary: The Doctor takes Jack to a planet for some fun, but forgets about the rather open customs regarding breastfeeding and nudity. Jack of course is a little more excited by the prospect than the Doctor would like. Based off a picture by Scifiangel.


Author's Notes: This fic is based on a photomanipulation by Scifiangel. I saw it and this little fic came to mind. The link to the original pic is here scifiangel .deviantart. com art/Hello-Ladies-photomanipulation-625256825

Hello Ladies!

The Doctor danced around the console pulling and pushing various levers as he went. Jack did his best controlling two panels as the Doctor controlled the remaining four. After meeting up again on a space station Jack has become more adept at helping fly the TARDIS. As usual the Doctor was rambling on at light speed about their destination.

"I'm serious best pastries in the galaxy. Plus they have a wonderful museum that prides itself on its accuracy of their exhibits. Last time they threw me out for trying to point out all the things that were wrong with their exhibits. Really you would think they would want to know that they have things wrong."

He stopped his monologue for a moment as the TARDIS landed with a thud. He continued as he went to retrieve his coat from the coral strut near the door, Jack doing the same on the other side of the door. "So a quick stop to get some fabulous, wonderful, exquisite, desert. Then to the museum, and maybe I'll be able to see all of it before they throw me out this time."

Jack laughed, as they stepped out into the busy street. "Which way to this cake shop?"

The Doctor glances around the busy market place full of people. All humanoid, some with varying shades of skin, hair or eye color not natural to 21st century humans. Many of whom wore brightly colored clothing. The Doctor turns around in a circle for a moment before pointing. "That way, just past that small park."

As the park comes into view the Doctor's steps slow a little. "Why you slow down Doc?" Jack asks, bumping their shoulders together.

"I apparently forgot about a little custom of this place that you will probably enjoy a little too much."

"Oh, is there such a thing as enjoying something too much?" Jack says with a wide grin.

The Doctor just sighs and rolls his eyes. He picks up his pace again, and tries his best to keep himself between Jack and the park, in a pathetic attempt to prevent Jack from seeing the gathering of women.

"Hello ladies!" Jack says, changing his course walking onto the grass.

"Don't start." The Doctor sighs and shakes his head.

"How are you lovely ladies doing on this beautiful day?" Jack asks, leaning against a tree as he gazes over the crowd.

The women appear to be in the middle of a pick-nick of sorts. All of them have babies or small children. Many of them breast feeding. Some wearing no tops at all, while others are letting their chests hang free of their top. There even appears to be one pumping and bottling her milk. None of them appear the least bit embarrassed by Jack's wondering looks.

"Hello." One of the topless women says, waving.

Jack walks over and reaches out to her. Taking her hand, and kissing the back of it. "My friend and I just arrived on your lovely planet, and I must say I doubt I've ever seen a more gorgeous sight than all of you."

The Doctor, standing behind Jack takes a deep breath and lets out a loud sigh before pinching the bridge of his nose and muttering to himself.

"In that case welcome to our planet. Is there anything in particular that brings you to our neighborhood? We are far from the space port."

"We've heard that the cake shop near here is the best in the galaxy. My friend couldn't stop talking about it."

"In deed they are good. Tallia," she says, indicating the woman pumping her milk into bottles. "often sells her milk to them. It makes the pastries so much sweeter."

"Really?" Jack says, his grin growing even wider. He turns to the Doctor. "Did you know about the milk, or is it a secret ingredient?"

"Yes. As I once tried to explain to Rose, drinking milk from your own species, or at least a similar type, is a lot healthier for you. But no, she insisted on cow's milk."

Jack smirks, wishing he could have been around for that conversation. "Really…." He says, before turning back to the ladies. "So are you ladies here frequently?"

She nods. "Most days at least one of our group is here with some kids, but today is our weekly pick-nick. It is good for the kids to get out in the sunshine and play with others."

"Of course, everyone could use a little more sun." Jack says, while looking at the attractive mothers.

The Doctor loudly clears his throat. "Jack we were headed to get some pastries."

"I'll walk over with you." Tallia says, capping her bottles of milk and standing, yet leaving her breast free of the confines of her top. "I need to get my milk to them anyways."

"Always delighted to have the company of a lovely lady." Jack says, putting out his arm to let Tallia link her arm through.

The Doctor simply rolls his eyes and leads the way over to the pastry shop. Once inside Tallia heads right over to the counter, while Jack and the Doctor look over the menu. "Are all their baked goods made with human breast milk?" Jack asks.

"No they don't get enough to be able to do that. Only their 'Gourmet Desserts' are made with the breast milk."

Tallia waves as she passes them on her way back out. Jack grins and waves back. "So shall we order the local special?"

The Doctor nods with a strained grin then walks over to the counter. "Two Gourmet Strawberry Banana Tarts, a cup of tea and a cup of coffee."

After paying with his sonic credit card the Doctor heads back over to where Jack is standing looking out the window. "Shall we sit at one of the tables outside?" He asks, "It is a beautiful day, and a great view."

The Doctor merely shrugs and follows Jack out and sits down at the table across from him. Before the silence between them becomes tense, the baker comes around with their pastries and drinks. With the first bite Jacks eyes are so wide they look as if they will pop out of his head.

"This is wonderful!" He says, around a mouth full of desert.

"Don't talk with your mouth full." The Doctor admonishes him. "I did say it was the best in the galaxy."

Jack swallows. "It's divine! Never tasted anything better."

The Doctor just nods, his mouth full of pastry. Then there is no room for talking, as they are both too involved in eating. Jack lets out a moan of ecstasy with each bite and has to stop himself from licking the plate clean of any small crumbs that maybe left.

"That was so good it was almost orgasmic." Jack declares.

"Glad you enjoyed it." The Doctor says, sipping his tea.

Jack glances at the Doctor's half eaten pastry, then grabs his cup before looking away towards the park. "So the museum next?"

"If that is what you want to do."

Jack shrugs. "Sure, you seemed interested."

The Doctor sighs, "Jack do you want the rest of my tart?"

Jack pulls the plate closer toward him. "Thanks, don't mind if I do." Neither man speaks as Jack finishes off the dessert with a moan. "If I lived here I'd be as round as I am tall."

"I'm sure you'd find ways of working off all the extra calories."

"Thanks for bringing me here. It really lived up to all the hype."

"No problem," the Doctor says, as he finishes his tea, before standing.

Jack stands as well, after gulping down his coffee, and follows the Time Lord a half step behind him. "So are we off to the museum next?"

The Doctor just shrugs and grunts before heading off. After a while Jack realizes that they are making their way, somewhat round about, back towards the TARDIS. "Doc, why are we headed back towards the TARDIS? I thought you were keen on seeing the museum?"

"Well… There are some maintenance that I've been putting off on the TARDIS. Figured I should maybe get on it while we're parked. I'm sure you can find something to do."

"If you've put it off this long I'm sure a little longer won't matter. The museum could be fun. No doubt you'll upset someone sooner or later and security will be called. Nothing like a good run to get the hearts pumping."

He shrugs as the TARDIS comes into view, unlocking it, with hardly a break in his stride, and flinging his coat over the coal before coming to rest, standing against the console. His hands out in front of him, taking his weight as he looks at the various controls.

Jack follows in at a slower pace, looking up at the Time Lord, a bit confused. "What's wrong Doc?"

"Nothing, nothing." He protest, kneeling down to pull open a panel to the underside of the console. "Everything is fine. What makes you think something is wrong?"

"Are you mad at me for flirting with those woman? I didn't mean anything by it. Old habits die hard."

"Why would I be mad? I don't own you or anything. You can flirt with whomever you want. Why should I care?" The Doctor says, his head now fulling under the console.

Jack walks over and sits down on the captain chair, and looks at the brown pin striped legs poking out from the hatchway. "I think we are overdue to have a talk about us."

"You're you and I'm me. What is there to talk about?"

"You know Doc sleeping with you at night and having sex every few days is like a dream come true for me. But I'm not sure where we stand. Are we a couple? Friends with benefits? Or something else entirely? If you need space that's fine with me, just say so and I'll go someplace in the TARDIS. Maybe take a swim, and you can find me when you're ready to talk."

After a moment of tense silence the Doctor sighs. "Jack why don't you just go out and find someone to have fun with for a while. I'll be here when you get back."

"What do you think I'm going to go and do? Have a fling with some woman because I was flirting. You mean more to me than that. And to be entirely honest I don't want to leave the TARDIS right now, because I'm a little worried that it won't be here when I come back."

"What?!" The Doctor cries, before coming out from under the console. "I wouldn't do that to you again. I promised that I wouldn't. What makes you think that I'd do that?"

Jack gets down onto the floor and takes the Doctor's face in his hands, his thumbs resting against his cheeks. "I need to be able to trust and believe that you won't leave me behind. You need to believe me when I say I am capable of being faithful to one person. I can be monogamous, if what we have is indeed a relationship. Heaven knows I'd love to be together with you."

The Doctor reaches up and grabs hold of Jack's wrists. "You say that Jack, but I can't help but think that I'm not enough for you."

"What how could-"

"You were aroused." He says pulling his face away. "I could smell it. It has been less than ten hours since we had sex and you get aroused just by looking at those women."

"Just because-"

"Plus you're masturbation."

"What-"

"I can smell it in the bathroom afterward. If we don't have sex the night before the next morning you always jerk off in the shower. I'm simply not enough for you. So if you need to go out and find someone else…."

"I DON'T!"

"Then I'll be waiting here when you get back. As long as you want to come back."

Jack sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose for a moment before he can speak. "Doc I think we are long overdue for a heart to hearts talk. At the risk of sounding stupid, we are different species. I know you don't get aroused easily, it's just the way you're built. I on the other hand do and I need relief more often, but that doesn't mean that I don't love you. I do love you! I would never cheat on you. Nothing would make me happier than to be in a relationship with you. But if you want this to be something more casual I'm fine with that too. But I didn't think you had sex casually. So tell me what is this, between us?"

The Doctor licks his lips and turns away from Jack, to look up at the TARDIS. "I just….. I thought… I was trying…" He sighs and takes a few deep breaths before continuing. "I'm not good at relationships. I thought that today we could go out together, no saving the world, no running for our lives and just be us."

Jack's brow furrows in confusion for a moment before his eye brows raise in realization. "Today we supposed to be a date."

The Doctor nods, and Jack wraps his arms around him from behind. His hands resting on the Time Lord's sides and Jack's head upon the Doctor's shoulder. "I'm so sorry I messes up our date. I'm sorry I flirted with other people than you. I didn't realize, you wanted people to know that we were together."

"No I'm sorry for over reacting." The Doctor says, leaning his head back. "Flirting is second nature to you, I shouldn't have taken it so personally. I guess I was just…"

"Jealous?"

"Yeah I suppose."

Jack reaches is hand up and turns the Doctor's head so that their noses are almost touching. "There is no one I'd rather be with than you. You needn't get jealous of anyone. You are the only one I want."

Their lips meet in a slow and tender kiss that only lasts a moment before Jack pulls back and rests their foreheads together. "We okay?"

"Yeah, I think so."

"Do you still want to go to the museum?"

The Time Lord grins. "Yeah, but only if I can hold your hand."

"Sounds good to me." Jack replies with a grin of his own.


End file.
